Tuesday, April 29, 2008

My ovaries: ass kickers

I went to Portland for the weekend. I brought a camera full of new batteries and took approximately ZERO pictures. It was a classic and delightful time. Lots of time in Jade and Jesse's living room. Lots of eating. Lots of love from lots of great people. In this story of trying to break up with Portland but still be good friends, I think I'm there. PDX and I know we're not right for each other and I can see her flaws and remember why we're not together every time we hang out but not resent her for them. I love that we can be best friends again.

Now I'm back with my new boyfriend, Seattle and I missed him.

I started a new chemo cycle yesterday: 6MP, radiation, and spinal methotrexate. The spinal tap went a little rough--it took many attempts to get to spinal fluid. As a result, my lower back is pretty sore. Radiation is not much to write home about yet. It takes about 2 minutes and side effects (if I have any) won't appear for a while. So anyhoo, yesterday when I got home I was like, "damn, my lower back HURTS where someone was poking me with a huge needle... I should take Vicodin since I haven't even looked at it in about 2 months." I went to my closet to discover that someone has been regularly hitting my hydrocodon. Hmmm. Then I checked my Xanex. Also severely depleted. I'm pretty 100% sure I know which of my roommates has been taking my meds and it's like, "shit." What am I supposed to do? This same person owes me $215 in back utilities. But who steals meds from someone who has cancer AND is their friend AND is their roommate? That is just so fucked up.

Here is the truly awesome news of this post: I got my period again! Even after the 6MP overdose (and 6MP is a fertility killer) my body, my ovaries are still fighting. Since not being able to have kids is one of my greatest fears, and it's pretty rare to menstruate mid-treatment I am feeling really positive about what this all means. March left me a little shaken--our bodies are breakable (we need blood cells) and fragile and it sort of undermined my confidence in my physical body to take everything in stride, but this has definitely restored much of my confidence.

Final Assessment of Life This Week: Totally Awesome


Mike said...

I was down to hang out Saturday night but Jade never called. Did you see Martin?

kathryn said...

damn girl, well i always thought you had a body built for baby-makin. speaking of medical miracles, check this crazy story out http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7354458.stm

Charlie said...

Yeah Jess, I always knew you were the resilient sort! I am sad I didn't get to see you while you were in town. I love that you are doing the blog, though I am a bad friend and don't write often I read often and think of you all the time. Hugs

Ovaryfan696969 said...

Jessie Gots Brass Balls.

Well, brass girlie balls.

Tyler said...

Yippee for a period! I happy to hear the good news. I live in the seattle area... I would love to know more of you. Anyways your only one of two that i of in the seattle area. I live in the south sound... you?