I'm sorry that I've been so absent from this blog but today is the 2 and 1/2 week mark for me in the hospital.

The hospital is terrible. I really really really hate it here. It has done a fine job of breaking my indomitable spirit and causing what people keep telling me is, "depression." Apparently, I've never been really depressed before. Thanks, Hosp.

The good news: my counts are finally up. I want to leave today. Or I would settle for tomorrow. They're pulling me off all my anti biotics to see how my systems fares on its own.

How did we get here? No doubt the most disturbing part of this month has been the radical turn around from Superwoman to nosediving hard and landing in the H. Why was this treatment cycle so much worse? Why am I such a pansy? Turns out I'm one of .03% of people who is missing an enzyme in my blood that helps metabolize this drug I was taking: 6-MP. Without said enzyme it was like I was taking 10X the chemo dose that I needed. So that's what crushed my counts and for so long. Shout out to Dr. K for figuring that out before I start another 70-day cycle of 6-MP.

That's all for now because most of my thoughts are pretty whiney and I've been trapped in a white box for 2 and 1/2 weeks with little stimulus.