Sunday, March 16, 2008

OK

New blood, feeling better, did some work-type stuff today but it was all very fun. Without saying too much, I work with high school students and since being diagnosed, I've had to give up one of the programs I run--the one where I interact with students regularly. Today they had an event and I went just to be there and hang out and it was great.

The only bad thing about yesterday was that at some point my Hickman got a "tug" which I don't even remember. When I went to scratch my chest, I noticed it was wet and looked down and saw blood seeping out of the gauze covering my port. Nothing about treatment has made me squeamish yet and I look at my own blood probably 3 times a week on average--but it's always where it's supposed to be... This really freaked me out. I couldn't watch while they re bandaged. Since it happened I am paranoid that something is wrong. I got good blood return from both sides and it didn't bleed through the new dressing, but I am had nightmares last night about it getting ripped out of my chest. Blah. Sorry if that paragraph made you as sick to your stomach as me...

But today. I got up, ate breakfast, and then did all sorts of productive things like pay bills, address thank you notes, and open insurance letters and put them in the pile of things to look at later... Now I'm lying in bed. I'm trying to come off all my non chemo drugs: the Ambian, the Xanax, the Vicodin--they're all on the market... KIDDING! But really, I don't like taking sleeping pills so I've decided to stop. I've changed my mind about "better living through chemistry." However, I'm going to talk to the doctor tomorrow about medical marijuana and bring in the forms to register for the Green Cross of Washington. It's worth a shot.

2 comments:

kerry said...

better living through kinder, gentler chemistry!

Kevin said...

With a name like Intensification, it can't be good, unless we're speaking of the effects of medical marijuana. Hang in there. Shitty about how you have to get worse to get better. BTW, I was told that once it's been in for a few weeks, a hickman basically can't be yanked out. Sounds like a wager to me.