Thursday, April 23, 2009

Doodling along

The other day my twitter-friend, Ben Folds, was like "buy the new She & Him album" and I was like, "OK." Right on, Ben. I'm almost ready to forgive you for the whole Landed album. Almost.

Tomorrow is CHEMO DAY. I know from last month that the key is to drink 5 liters of water in the morning before my 5pm IV-start. I may also lift some weights. Anything to make my tiny, deep veins bulge for my favorite oncology nurses. As for the side effects, I've got an almost new bottle of Maalox and a refill on my Ambien. You know what's classy? Swigging directly from a Maalox bottle in social situations... Seth is having a cocktail party with an award for the best drink. What do you think of peppermint schnapps and Maalox? Also, I told Nich I'd finally come down to Oly to hang out with him. I'm excited.

I had a good talk with my mom the other day about insurance and loans and the state of the world. She's good at listening to me, talking me down, and making me feel secure. Isn't that like the perfect mom? She still makes me feel safe even though I'm 26. I'm going to COBRA the work insurance for 18 months. It's going to be cool. Good insurance is a good thing.

It's been kind of a stressful month: work, life in Community (namely my landlord), loans, insurance, Change... I don't always react with grace to every situation, but it seems that even though my initial reaction is still (and may always be) panic, mania, and bitchiness, I get better at finding my way back to chill. Like, I've hit Zen at work. I'm one woman. I'm one hardworking woman doing her best. And that's good enough for my boss, so that should be good enough for me. And life. I articulated a series of important things to myself and those things helped me set internal boundaries that I feel really confident about. I know this sounds vague and weird, but it's just house-related drama that I don't want to bore you with.

Socially, things have been exciting. New friends, old friends, all good friends. Lots of good food. Lots of joy surrounding the return of the sun. Spring is here. Life is thawing and the hibernating Seattle-ites are poking their pasty faces out of our caves. It's time for iced coffee.

On Monday I have a closure appointment with my therapist. She has been amazing at helping me deal with having cancer, living with chemo, and working through the journey back. It's not that I'm done, but I'm ready to fly on my own for a while. We'll check in during Emotional August, but for now I'm going to liberate my Mondays. After that I'll be getting my first haircut in over a year! It's time. My post-chemo fro needs some guidance. Some trimming. I want a person who knows something about hair, short hair, and general trendiness to give me advice... I'm going to Vain on the recommendation of one of my fave chemo friends.

Well, that's it. Wild, huh?

1 comment:

Rachel said...

So are you moving to Cali for sure? I'm excited!!