The misunderstanding of Little Buddy

For those of you following the Cyst Saga, I have some bad/good news. “Little Buddy” was supposed to be removed yesterday, but the steroids that were supposed to make LB shrink made him grow even BIGGER!!! Little Buddy is not like other cysts. He is a real little person/sentient being and he FEEDS off steroids. This is me doing a visual interpretation of Little Buddy and his rage:

And here is what he looked like for real on Monday night at Dinner Club:

Side note: how great are my friends that they will do a cyst photo shoot at dinner?

And here is the cat that I talk to on my way to work many mornings. Of course I still talk to cats!

So now the cyst is bigger than it was before. My dermatologist was concerned. “What do you want to do?” she asked me because I also have a medical degree and know a lot about sentient cyst-ial beings.

For fun, she cut into it. Nothing happened. LB is solid. She gave LB 6X as much Cortizone and sent me home looking puzzled. I feel really good about things.

So anyway, it’s been a rough few days between the cyst, the insomnia, and work being pretty lame. I am feeling a little defeated and I know that now I need to buckle down and work on my graduate school application so I can eventually GET THE FUCK OUT.

My plan of action is to abstain from: g chat, thinking about insurance companies, taking work seriously, and worrying about my solid cyst. I will: learn thousands of vocabulary words and do remedial math problems until I until I can make that GRE my bitch (average practice score currently: 1420). Oh, I also have to write a “personal statement of diversity.” Whatever.

MAYBE THE WORLD WILL END TONIGHT.